In my efforts to stay in the Tallahassee area so as to avoid a repeat of last weekend’s T-Mobile fiasco (I was at St. George Island when their AC went down.), I went to another movie this afternoon. This time around I saw G.I. Joe.
This is not the G.I. Joe I grew up with. That Joe was the size of a Barbie and had fuzzy hair and beard and looked a lot more like the U.S. Military soldiers than this Joe does. This Joe is based on the little Star Wars sized action figures that my kids had. A Joe that was far more technically advanced than my good old boys were. The movie was pretty much exactly what I would expect. It was a CGI spectacle. A rock ‘em, sock ‘em action fest. Damn near one big explosion with just a dash of story to make it all make sense. Not make it plausible mind you, just make it make sense. I can’t say that I was impressed. The CG was exactly what we’ve come to expect from this sort of movie, good in places, not so much in others. I was entertained and I’d go see another one if/when they make it. Like I said, this isn’t my Joe, but the kids in the audience seemed to like it.
I only have two real complaints about the film, given what it was, a popcorn-action adventure. One, does everything have to blow up? I mean really! Can’t some stuff just get crushed and broken? At some point in one of these movies I expect to see somebody crumple up a piece of note paper and throw it over their shoulder and have it take out a skyscraper with a huge fireball. Two, Marlon Wayans needs to settle it down and play it a little less for the laughs. I’m okay with a little bit of this sort of thing, after all it is for the kids, but come on. The guy ends up reminding me of Jar Jar Binks the way he over reacts to everything and goes out of his way to get the laugh. I blame the director. His character was alright and could have been good, but they chose to go over the top with it. Everything was just as I would have expected.
I enjoyed this way more than I did District 9, but I can’t say that it was great. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that hit all my buttons to be considered great. But in all fairness, I don’t really like movies; they always leave me thinking about how I would have done it had I been in charge. Maybe the Count of Monte Cristo (2002) would be the last movie that hit all the right buttons for me. Later.