The boss asked everyone in the group to come up with the Top Three Objectives for our group as a part of the ISO project. The more I thought about it the madder I got. Here’s what I came up with. Just don’t tell him.
1. Fuck if I know. I work tickets that’s what I do.
2. Hell I can’t even tell you what is a group responsibility and what is stuff that comes to us because we have Denis and George.
3. Really, I felt like I made more of a difference in the IRSC. At least there I was helping out in a meaningful way.
p.s. I hate this fucking job. What a creative sink hole. Shit you spend a quarter of your life at work, you should really do something you enjoy and derive some pleasure out of. That ain’t the case here. You know what I think of internet support, I think it sucks. God damn it, firing me again would be the best thing that ever happened to me. There has got to be more to life than this.
TOP THREE OBJECTIVES REVISIED
1. Get a paycheck.
2. Continue to get a paycheck.
3. Do as little work as possible for as much money as possible while continuing to get a paycheck and not putting myself at risk of losing my job.
TOP THREE OBJECTIVES, OH FOR THE GROUP. GOTCHA
1. Don’t know now. Didn’t know when you put me here.
2. Arn’t you supposed to determine that for us? Isn’t that why they pay you manager salary?
3. I fucking hate these open ended questions. Our objectives are to make the shareholders as much money as possible. Whether we do that through good business practices and hard work or through deception and tom-foolery doesn’t matter to the company leads. It’s all about making a buck. Wait, I think at this point were trying to make enough money to make us a viable purchase for some other company. That’s number one now.
TOP THREE OBJECTIVES, NOPE THESE ARE DUTIES
1. Help maintain a viable product for our customer base by analyzing customer data.
2. Ensure a level of network performance and customer satisfaction that maintains our customer base.
3. Help get issues to the appropriate groups in a timely fashion and serve as a catch all for any issue that loses focus.
TOP THREE OBJECTIVES
1. Serve as a pseudo third tier support group to pacify the customer
2. Ensure that issues get directed to the appropriate group for repair
3. I’m done. It doesn’t matter. You tell me.
Yeah, guess you know how I really feel now.